I vote we change the February 14th holiday. How many of you are in favor of scratching this day off the calendar? No more red hearts and overpriced chocolates blanketing every store, taunting single women with silent screams of, “You can’t have me…nanny nanny boo boo.”
I think about my single-mom days and remember vividly all the emotions surrounding the national day of “love.” I had just survived Christmas, carefully avoiding anything resembling mistletoe. Then a week later, I endured New Year’s Eve, when at the stroke of midnight, I had no one to kiss. (One minute into the next lap around the sun and I had already failed.) And if those two holidays weren’t enough to wreak havoc on the self-esteem of a single woman, I only had to wait six more weeks until I could watch every dating or married couple in the world advertise their blissful romance while I pretended not to care. Do you know what I loved about Valentine’s Day when I was single (or even now)? Not much.
The holiday drums up all kind of emotions, doesn’t it? For some, it brings up feelings of rejection and loneliness. Others feel caught in the trap of comparison or jealousy. And who wouldn’t envy the mom with enough spare time to make the adorable, Pinterest-worthy, homemade set of Valentines for her child’s class? This is a holiday that leaves many wanting and empty.
How can a single woman enjoy February 14th without wallowing in self-pity? Is it possible to survive the day if Cupid hasn’t shot his arrow your way? Of course. It’s a simple matter of focus. I propose we shift our perspective on Valentine’s Day and think of it as ValueTime’s Day. Rather than dwelling on what you may not have this year, consider what you value and how you can spend time celebrating it.
Here are three suggestions for turning the commercial Valentine’s Day into a meaningful ValueTime’s Day.
- Value your time with Jesus. God is love. He loves you more than any man ever could. The Bible tells us He loves us with an everlasting love. He is more concerned about affirming His love to you than any man is. Enjoy His presence today. The time spent with Him is never wasted. Snuggle up and let the Lover of Your Soul quiet your longing heart.
Read Matthew 6:33 to gain insight into the value of spending time with God.
- Value your time with your children. If you’re raising girls, they might love to get a Valentine’s card and handwritten note about how special they are. But as a mother of boys, I can tell you that mine really don’t appreciate cards, and my efforts for such are completely wasted. But what all children crave is our undivided attention and unhurried time. Play a game with your kids, cook a meal together, or do something out of the ordinary. I’m starting to believe all the people who told me kids grow up fast. Our time with them is relatively short, so put away your phone and communicate with your time how much you value your relationship.
Read Psalm 127:3 and Mark 10:13-16 to see how Jesus valued children.
- Value your time alone. Yes, I said that. Being single isn’t a terrible thing. In this period of singleness, you have a unique opportunity that married women don’t have. You’re free of the distraction of a husband’s needs every day. When the kids go to bed, take some time to enjoy the peace and quiet. Read a book, watch a chick-movie, or journal your prayers. Be grateful.
Read 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 for encouragement to unmarried women devoted to the Lord.
Just think, while all the couples fight for a table at the local restaurant, you can relax and invest your heart on things you value most. Happy ValueTime’s Day, single mom. YOU are valuable.
About Kim Heinecke
Kim Heinecke wants to live in a world where children listen to the advice of their mothers without question. As a former single mom she’s been encouraging women using her life experiences in parenting, growing in the Word of God and everything in between. When she’s not negotiating with a teenager or wrestling a pre-schooler, you can find her camping in the family RV or pretending to understand sports with her husband and four sons. Read more from Kim at www.TheMomExperiment.com.