My friend’s husband is a police officer with the K9 unit with the local police department. His dog, Leeon, is an amazing animal who takes his job very seriously. When Leeon isn’t working, he is your typical dog that likes to play. Even though Leeon is well trained at listening to his master’s voice, he still requires being on a harness when outside. His master keeps him on a leash not as a punishment but rather to keep him safe. Leeon is new to his job and is still learning to control himself, which could lead to him eventually being allowed out without a leash. While outside, Leeon will watch other dogs that are roaming free out in their yards. These dogs seem to run and jump and throw caution to the wind. They simply scratch at the door and their master lets them out, untethered and carefree. While Leeon watches them, I can’t help but wonder what is going through his mind. Does he often wonder why he is on a leash and those other dogs aren’t? Does he realize he holds a title and serves a purpose and that is why he requires special training?
Watching my friend with his dog reminds me of my walk with my Master. How many times do I walk closely with Him, but longingly look at the fleshly desires that are just out of arms reach? As a single mother, I often have these moments when looking at my kids’ father. He is living life carefree! He feels paying child support is an infringement to him and heaven forbid he help out physically. I often find myself bitter and envious of his life. Occasionally, I look at the life he has and am jealous of everything he has that I don’t. A career, a girlfriend, a social life…I see all this and it is those times I will find myself tugging against God. How fun it would be to not be responsible, if just for a weekend! How fun it would be to go out and not have to be back home by a certain time because babysitters charge by the hour, or to not have to be a mother, student, and hold down a job all at the same time. The list goes on and on. I look at this, and the consequences he never has to face, and my heart hurts. Why does it seem like God keeps me on a leash and not him? Why am I not allowed to throw caution to the wind and indulge in pleasures of my flesh?
When I find myself in this mentality, I think of Leeon as he watches the neighbor’s dogs play outside untethered and free. It is then that I ask myself, Do you not realize you serve a purpose? I then must remind myself that I have the title as a daughter of the Most-High King and because of that I am held to a higher standard. My ex may lead a carefree life, but the life I am intended to lead requires discipline, hard work, and a Master that won’t let me wander after fleshly desires. There is more joy and peace in store for me than what can be had by a carefree, untethered life.
God chose me for this life on purpose. To love, guide, discipline, encourage, and raise these children. When I look into the eyes of my beautiful children, I am thankful for the leash God gives. I am certain there is nothing a carefree life can give me that can compare to the joy of being their mother.
About Kristal Kuehl
My name is Kristal Kuehl and I am currently working on my undergraduate degree in Human Development and Family Sciences at Oklahoma State University. I plan to complete this journey in May 2017, where I will then pursue my Juris Doctorate. I plan to use my degree to advocate for women as they navigate their way through the choppy waters of family court. I am honored to be chosen by God to be a mother to my five beautiful children. I also work for the OSU football program, as well as lead the single parent’s ministry at my home church in Stillwater, Oklahoma