See Your Kids
Kids are all the same. I can attest to that, as during my teaching career I taught every kind—from elementary to middle school, migrants to live-in-one place students, and inner-city poor to wealthy suburban. But they all desired one thing: to be noticed each day and feel like they matter.
I remember one certain student that nailed this fact home. I would see him throughout the day in the halls, at lunch, recess, and other places and he always had to say hi. Even in my 5th period classroom when I began to teach, he’d smile and wave wildly. I’d think, “I’ve already seen you several times today,” but I soon realized he needed to be noticed. He wanted to know that I saw him and acknowledged his presence. So, each time he lifted his hand to wave it through the air, I would grin, wave back, and tell him I was glad he made it to class. His response lit up the room.
His need was overt, but how many students did I see each day who wanted special recognition? It was difficult with 140 students each day, but I tried in many ways to show they were “seen.” It might be a “hi” as they walked by, or a smile from the front of the classroom, or a touch on the shoulder as I walked up and down the aisles checking their work. I also stood at my classroom door and welcomed them as they entered the class.
I’m writing all of this not because I did it all correctly, but because I learned something valuable I want to share. Your children feel the same way in your presence as they did hunched in the seats of my classroom. They want to know they matter, that you’re thrilled to spend time with them, that they have your attention, and are appreciated. You have so many hats you’re wearing and a plethora of tasks to accomplish each day, but I encourage you to interact with your kids in a way that they’ll feel loved, cherished, and seen.
∙Put your phone aside until they’re in bed.
∙Look them in the eye and talk to them at dinner.
∙Send them to school with a hug or a kind word.
∙Be excited when you pick them up from school or daycare.
∙When you walk through a room and they’re playing video games or completing homework, touch their shoulder and smile at them.
∙Ask questions that indicate you are interested in their daily activities.
∙Listen when they tell the same story a multitude of times.
I realize not everything works and you may have other ideas for ways to interact with your children, especially those teenagers. The greatest gift you can bestow on your children is unconditional love and the belief that they’re important to you. It’s not what you do for them, but how you make them feel that will be remembered. Go make good memories, momma.
